He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
