I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
