he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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