can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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