I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
