I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
