Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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