I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
