why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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