I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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