somebody snuck up and got me drunk
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
