I just pynch a tree in the face
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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