Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
