Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
