Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
