he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
