I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
