that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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