4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Enjoy the penises
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
