so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
