I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
