I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
