dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
