I need help removing her.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
