i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
