Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
