I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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