I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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