why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize