Small penises have feelings too.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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