God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
