Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
