Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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