She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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