Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
