even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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