tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
