Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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