I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Enjoy the penises
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
