you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
