Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
