You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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