You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
