i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
