I think I am morally bankrupt
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
