My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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