have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
