the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
