This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
soo... how was my night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
