Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
