Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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