I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
