It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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