Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
