Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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