We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think people are normalizing furries
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
