Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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