Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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