idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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