whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
